With This Ring
...I proposed to myself. And said yes. Just kidding, but I realize that's what this looks like haha. I wanted to share the story behind this special ring I bought myself recently, because the process of choosing it and creating a ceremony around it was something that was really healing and helpful for me, and was partially thanks to valuable advice I got from my therapist as well (therapy for life).
For starters, I have wanted to buy myself a "nice" ring for awhile now. I don't have many pieces of higher-end jewelry, except for a diamond band my dad gave me when I was 15 that I've worn every day since. And then besides just classing my jewelry game up, one day I had the thought that if I didn't have any plans in the foreseeable future to be engaged, and thus get a pretty, sparkly ring on my finger, that didn't mean I had to hold out on myself until I was in order to get one. I could still buy myself a pretty, sparkly ring that would give me something to smile about every time I looked down at it. So these thoughts had been in the back of my mind for a little while, as I passively searched for something I'd like to own.
Several months ago I was in a therapy sesh with my therapist whom I adore, and we were talking about the value of ceremonies when closing a chapter or choosing to let something go. She also talked about the significance and importance of a token, or any physical object used to represent a milestone achieved, or a as reminder of a decision or promise made. In that moment I immediately knew I wanted to choose a beautiful ring to be that token, and to accompany a ceremony around certain promises I was hoping to make to myself.
After asking for a suggestion for pretty, delicate jewelry, a friend sent me a link to Local Eclectic and I was obsessed with almost everything on there. At first I thought I was going to choose a simple and delicate band, but then I saw this ring and totally fell in love with it. So I ordered it and impatiently waited for it to show up. While I waited, I wrote out some "vows" to myself. I somewhat followed the structure of how a wedding ceremony would go, since that's all I knew to go off of. I first wrote a letter to myself from God's perspective, what I would imagine him saying to me about how he sees me and what he hopes for me. Then I wrote out "vows" - promises surrounding remembering my worth and to make decisions that honor who I am and what I want for my future. Some were around how I'd hope to approach romantic relationships in the future, or even the waiting process for those, and others were just things I hope to be true about me and my life in general.
Once the ring came, I didn't start wearing it right away. I wanted to wait until I could set aside time to purposefully give myself the ring, and read the letter and vows over myself, and I knew I'd probably want the ocean and a sunset to be involved. So I set a date with myself one weekend, put my phone on airplane mode, and took the ferry over to the beach to go sit on one of the lifeguard towers there to watch the sun sink into the ocean on that warm evening. I re-wrote out all the vows and read them aloud to myself and then finally let myself start wearing that pretty ring. Nothing super transformative or magical happened in that moment (and to be honest, I even feel a little silly and vulnerable sharing this experience), but it felt important for me to intentionally go through that process, and to care for and honor myself in that way. And the ring has continued to serve as a frequent reminder and source of strength for me. I find myself reaching over with my right hand to touch it and to bring those vows back to front of mind throughout my day.
Now I am a big proponent of people having a token or some sort of tangible reminder for something important to them, and not just waiting for a wedding ring to be that object. And I absolutely believe in the value and beauty of a ceremony to mark something significant (or insignificant) in your life. To celebrate the things you're proud of yourself for, to seal in the close of a chapter, to vow to start something new, etc. So this was a ceremony and token that was special to me that I wanted to share with you, in case it inspires you to do something similar in your life. Cheers, friends!