Being a single, 20-something girl with lots of well-meaning friends and family often comes with the frequent proposal of being set-up with someone of the opposite gender. It is incredibly flattering to know that others must think of me as someone who is even worthy of being set up on a date to begin with. Also, as someone who desires to be married, you'd think I'd welcome these invitations. Yet for some reason my heart always cringes a little bit when I am told by a friend or a family member that they have someone they want to set me up with. And for the longest time I could not figure out why.
I believe it was this post by Emily Maynard that helped put words to that twitch in my soul I felt every time I was offered as an option to another single person. It boiled down to the fact that whenever someone suggested I meet so-and-so or try signing up for eHarmony or visit another church every now and then to meet more people (all real life suggestions), I was believing the lie that I am not good enough just as I am. I need a boyfriend or a husband and then the people around me can rest easy knowing I'm partnered up and taken care of. (Though I'm told people will always find ways to let you know they're not content with your life just the way it is - your job, kids or lack thereof, diet choices, how you spend your money and on and on and on).
Before you begin to apologize if you're one of the people in my life who has done just that, please hear that this is not about you and your suggestions. I know you are well-meaning and care about me and want the very best for me. And I appreciate that so much. Instead, hear that this is my issue that I am learning to walk through in more ways than one. Besides battling the lie that single = inadequate, I struggle with looking to meaningless measures to validate my worth as a human. I have found equal amounts of solace and despair in everything from the words a boy says or doesn't say to me, to the amount of followers I have on instagram in a given moment. Pathetic sounding? Sure. But still incredibly real challenges my mind faces every day.
If you do follow me on instagram, you may have seen some of the temporary tattoos I've been writing on my hand from time to time to remind myself of an important truth I need to see continually throughout my day. In all honesty this has been a really helpful practice for me. I thought about what it is God might want to write on my hand if given the chance, and at this point in my life I believe it would be the words, "You Are Enough." He would write it in His handwriting, claiming me as His own, reminding me that if all I am is a child of His, that is enough. I am beautiful because He says so. I am loved because He loves me. I am perfect in my uniqueness because He made me just the way I am. I know it will take more than temporary words written in ink for that truth to sink into my soul, but my prayer for myself, and for you, is that God tattoos that truth on our hearts and in our minds so deeply that we never forget where our true worth lies.
From my heart,