I've got the desert on my mind...can't wait to be out there this weekend
Lately my mind has been in relationship question overload. I have had an interest in relationships and marriage for as long as I can remember (hence my desire to be a marriage and family counselor someday), but for some reason during the past few months, I've found my heart really hoping to find some insight and answers into my biggest questions, and what I believe are issues on many other people's hearts as well. Between feelings of my own, conversations with my dear friends, and plenty of relationship-themed blog posts, here are just a few of the topics that seem to keep re-surfacing:
- Being single is something undesirable, a stage to "survive" until you make it to marriage
- Dating is exhausting, and can feel like more of a chore than something fun or beneficial
- Marriage is the ultimate goal and life will be complete once we say "I Do."
Obviously these aren't everyone's thoughts, but they are observations I've gathered over the years and find to be true in many cases. I would love to tackle each point and share some of the thoughts I've been having on them lately, but I'm just going to touch on the topic of singleness right now.
If I'm being honest, I'm not always crazy about being single. And I'm super excited to be married someday. So a lot of times I battle with feelings of dissatisfaction for this stage of life I'm in. Even though I know all the truths like that I'm supposed to enjoy the present, have so much to be thankful for, marriage will have it's own, different set of problems, etc, etc, I still can't always wrap my heart around believing those things. And if I'm being REALLY honest, I'd tell you that there is a small part of me that believes you're worth less as a single person. Awful right? But have you ever examined how you think about other people and how that affects how you think of yourself? I notice that many times I catch myself feeling jealous of cute, happy married couples, and sorry for single people, wondering why they haven't found someone yet. A lot of times those are my snap judgments before I allow myself to re-work those thoughts, but still, that's what I think. So why wouldn't I naturally apply those truths to myself in return?
Well lately I have decided I want to be on a mission to change those thoughts, both in my own mind and in the mind of others. We need to re-train the way we look at and compare ourselves to others, so we can re-define how we look at ourselves. So I wanted to share some of the truths that have been on rotation in mind and ask if you would join in believing these truths with me. Here they are:
- Who I am as a Jesus follower (or person in general) matters infinitely more than my relationship status
- Marriage is not the main goal of my life
- We can never judge someone else's journey, and everyone's is different
- Thrive in whatever moment you have been placed in
And that's it. Just a few simple things that you may already totally believe and agree with in your life. I could go into lots more detail for each one, but I think you get the main idea. I am committing to remind myself of these things every day (sometimes every hour) so I can start to change the way I look at singleness, marriage, and ultimately, myself.
I'd love to hear any thoughts you have on the topic if you're willing to be honest, and look forward to tackling some more of these ideas in the future.
Heart you guys! Have such a wonderful day.
From my heart,